Are you a teen who read the Twilight books, and was inspired by the message of abstinence? Do you find solace in the series' portrayal of the creepily controlling behavior of an older man toward an easily influenced young woman? Have you found your own creepy controlling older man, and want to perhaps indulge in your hormones without the patina of sin?
If so, you're in luck, my friend! Just email your hundred year old honey the link to buy this replica of the engagement ring Edward gave to Bella (with real diamonds!), and you'll be at it like rabbits in no time.
Then all you'll have to do is get pregnant with your own demon spawn and allow it to literally kill you because you decided not to consider options like the pill, the ring, the patch, the shot, an IUD, or fucking condoms. And if you're really lucky, you might just get your own episode of 16 and Pregnant.
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Oh Hell Fucking Yes.
ReplyDeleteTo your post, I mean. Not the damn Twilight ring (HONESTLY!?!?!). Your post, however, made me laugh heartily.
I was cringing, but the comments on the Twilight ring post served to reinstate my faith in humanity. Thank you, masses!
ReplyDeleteCalling all Young Engaged couples!
ReplyDeleteIf you're engaged to be married in the next 6 months and are under 21 then we have an amazing opportunity for you! A new wedding television series on Slice is casting Engaged teenagers and young adults! We’re looking for all ethnic backgrounds, from all walks of life and any budget level are encouraged to apply for this incredible opportunity.
If chosen for the show, we will film the trials and triumphs of getting married at a young age and the lucky couple will receive $4000 towards their wedding budget+more!
If you are young and in love with a story that must be told, then Email us your at youngnmarried@gmail.com