Santa and Shakespeare: Friends of yore

McSweeney's has a series of letters to Santa written by Shakespearean characters (which is such a McSweeney's thing to do, but I digress). Although a friend of mine says that, like most things at McSweeney's, the title is better than the content, I did like this letter from Macbeth:

Hail, Santa, King of the Elves!

Many thanks for the male-enhancement products you brought me last year. But as my wife has since forsworn me, I will not be needing them again. Hence, I devote this year's list to her Christmas wishes. She demands the following items:

— A gift certificate for LATTICE eyelash treatment

— A Wonderbra (size: 36D; color: Midnight Animal)

— Arctic-raised Reindeer Pâté

— "Buns of Steel" DVD

— Dolce & Gabbana Bling Sunglasses

— One ticket to Barack Obama's 2010 New Year's Day Brunch [or another exclusive political event]

Santa, may I be frank? My Lady says that if she does not receive all of these anon, she will fly into a murderous rage. Just thought you should know.

— Macbeth

P.S. If you find a posset of cocoa labeled "For Santa," do not drink it.

HA. Click on through for the rest.