"Would you go to the doctor and have him take out your spleen for nothing?"

A wise man once said, "If you're good at something, never do it for free." I know I've been guilty of this sin, but, damnit, no more, thanks to Harlan Ellison and his delicious rant below.

This video is NSFW, based both on Ellison's language and the incredible bubbly feeling you will get as he threatens to burn Warner Brothers to the ground for not sending him a free DVD with his interview on it.

I might make "What is Warner Brothers? Out with an eye patch and a tin cup on the street? Fuck no!" my cellphone ring.


  1. Thanks for this, I'd have missed it otherwise. So, so true.

  2. I don't know if I agree with that. If they wanted him to write an essay about the show, he should get paid, but it sounds like they just wanted a release to use existing footage in a DVD special feature documentary.

    Writers get paid for writing. Writers get paid for promotion indirectly, when their efforts increase sales and, therefore royalties.

    I'm pretty sure everyone does interviews for free as a traditionally expected or, sometimes, contractually obligated promotional effort.

    The only people who expect to get paid for interviews are reality TV stars and hookers who sleep with politicians.

  3. Another hilarious post.

    And Ellison is right, we amateurs piss for nothing. But I stand firm on the price of my soul. $5 mill and not a dime less, although no one has made an offer... The price may come down.