James Patterson could be Jesus

We all knew this was a possibility, people, and it's time to call a spade a spade: James Patterson is probably not human. He puts out like 3,000 books a week, and he came up with the slogan, "I’m a Toys ‘R’ Us kid." The man is a bajillionaire and we should all aspire to Patterson-dom. You can feel the jealousy rolling off Jonathan Mahler, the article writer:
It’s no surprise that Patterson loves what he does. What’s not to love? He plays golf most mornings on Donald Trump’s Palm Beach course and spends the rest of the day working on guaranteed best sellers for which he is paid millions.
So here's the plan. Write several bestsellers. Morph into James Patterson. Profit. Anyone in?


  1. Shoot. Are you kidding? I've already finished 572 books today.

  2. I know about the golf; I'm his caddy.

    Oh, he was an ad executive. That explains it.

    Sure I'm in. All I need is a staff of a thousand.

  3. I'm definitely in. Jimmy Patts is my hero.

  4. I am definitely in. In fact, I think I will go write a book right now.