Reading is important, especially for drinking

How can you know what wines to order, if you can't read the list well? Finally, a guide to reading a wine list, so your drunkeness can be well informed.*

*This is totally relevant to publishing. Shh.

The e-book test drive

For the e-book fearers out there, the LA Times did a video test drive of a number of e-readers (not the Nook, unfortunately, although I've seen one and it looks awesome). Check it out, and see which one you'll be purchasing in January.

Santa and Shakespeare: Friends of yore

McSweeney's has a series of letters to Santa written by Shakespearean characters (which is such a McSweeney's thing to do, but I digress). Although a friend of mine says that, like most things at McSweeney's, the title is better than the content, I did like this letter from Macbeth:

Hail, Santa, King of the Elves!

Many thanks for the male-enhancement products you brought me last year. But as my wife has since forsworn me, I will not be needing them again. Hence, I devote this year's list to her Christmas wishes. She demands the following items:

— A gift certificate for LATTICE eyelash treatment

— A Wonderbra (size: 36D; color: Midnight Animal)

— Arctic-raised Reindeer Pâté

— "Buns of Steel" DVD

— Dolce & Gabbana Bling Sunglasses

— One ticket to Barack Obama's 2010 New Year's Day Brunch [or another exclusive political event]

Santa, may I be frank? My Lady says that if she does not receive all of these anon, she will fly into a murderous rage. Just thought you should know.

— Macbeth

P.S. If you find a posset of cocoa labeled "For Santa," do not drink it.

HA. Click on through for the rest.

Round up, over there!

Click click click click click on through.

What to read? Ask a graph

Is it my fault that GraphJam keeps making graphs about books? No. No it is not.



So...witty...

Oxford has been unfriended

I'm sorry, Oxford. You chose "unfriend" as your word of 2009 over "tramp stamp," and I will never forgive you.

I guess technically "tramp stamp" is a phrase, not a word, but it's on the list of contenders (below "sexting" and "teabagger"). And your definition is so, so choice:

tramp stamp: a tattoo on the lower back, usually on a woman

Usually on a woman? The gauntlet is thrown, readers. Find me a man with a tramp stamp, and you will get the $20 I'm getting from Moonrat for "helping" with her troll problem.*

*This is totally void if I never get paid, which is, sadly enough, more than likely.

A better way to read the interwebs

Does the single column method of reading text online suck? Some would say yes.

Because of the short and wide appearance of the computer screen—the Danny DeVito, if you will—the reader is constantly forced to scroll, like a 12th century monk with an actual scroll. The answer, at least in the link above, is multiple columns across the screen.

I'm undecided on this. Curling up with my laptop and forgetting I'm on the internet doesn't really strike me as desirable or even feasible. I'd prefer a totally separate instrument for long form reading—an e-reader, perhaps. Or even one of those paper type books. Crazy? Maybe. But...no, that's it.

Waffle cookies, oh em gee

1. Make cookie dough. Do not eat right away. For reals. Just put it in the freezer.
2. Purchase a waffle iron.
3. Have a crappy day of a badness level that requires greater than one cookie, but less than an entire batch.
4. Put cookie dough in waffle iron.
5. Magic.

No, this is not publishing related. But everyone loves cookies.*

*You are not welcome at this blog if you don't love cookies.

Writing a novel: Apparently hard

The Wall Street Journal ran an article about how different authors write. For the sake of brevity (although it's worth the read!) I've summed it up for you:

Nicholson Baker writes in the dark, Orhan Pamuk rewrites a lot, Hilary Mantel writes early, Kazuo Ishiguro researches and then writes, Michael Ondaatje cuts and pastes with scissors, and Richard Powers chats to a computer (which does the writing for him).

Dan Chaon writes on notecards, Margaret Atwood writes on menus, Edwidge Dandicant makes inspiration collages, Junot Diaz writes on the tub (not in it, but on the edge), Amitav Ghosh writes by hand, Russell Banks writes in a sugar shack, Colum McCann manipulates font size, Anne Rice only likes three words per screen, John Wray writes on the train, and Laura Lippman uses yarn and a graph.

Of all of the authors profiled, by favorite by far is Kate Christensen. She writes by playing a lot of solitaire.